It has officially been a year since I CHOPPED my hair! What a year it has been! Cutting my hair so drastically has allowed me to get re-acquainted with my hair, which has fostered a deeper appreciation of my curls and coils.
In my culture, a woman’s hair is a BIG deal and typically, the longer the better, so when I told my lovely and talented hairdresser that I wanted a big chop her eyes opened wiiiiide and she let out a concerned/disgusted/shocked WHY?!?
Before the Chop
Without waiting for a response, she proceeded to bombard me with questions as a way to figure out if I had lost my mind… Is it giving you trouble? Is it taking too long to style? Is it falling out? is it tangling too much? Your hair is so healthy and beautiful, why are you cutting it? You have great length, why do you want to cut it? In essence, what she was really asking without using words was “what could possibly be driving you to make this absurd and insane decision”?
I wanted to answer truthfully and say that a person I love with an intense passion left me too soon, that the one we were waiting for finally arrived but is now gone. However, I knew that neither of us was prepared to handle what I wanted to unpack. I wanted to say that the immense pain inside was driving me to make a change. I was no longer the same and I needed my physical appearance to match that change.
To change my furniture, the color of my walls, and my wardrobe wasn’t enough. The change also needed to be reflected in the luscious curls I pride myself. Those curls and coils of my Dominican hair passed down through centuries of African, Taino, and European genes, those curls that were an extension of me needed to be cut.
Somehow I was able to bite the tears back into my eyes and simply whispered that I needed a change and wanted to try something new but she had no clue how deep and heavy my answer was. Cutting my hair was an opportunity to express and show what was missing me.
A year later and I don’t regret a thing because I look DARN good!
My first social outing since our loss. #curlsbepoppin
That length tho!
first Salonaso
Highlights for the win
Ooooh, your curls are beautiful! I think they’re so sassy shorter. And when you blew it out it was a lovely length too! I can totally understand wanting there to be a physical change to mark a loss. It’s not the same, but I got a massive back tattoo when we decided to resolve childfree, because I wanted to mark that in a big way (it’s a phoenix with monarch butterflies, two for our losses, and it was tribal and painful and marks both rebirth and loss). I love, love, love your hair and the symbolism of making a change.
your tattoo sounds amazing! do you have a picture?
Making a major change like that might be perceived as a moment of weakness or act of desperation or depression…..but it is a sign of COURAGE! You are bold and beautiful my Sista! I celebrate your internal and outward beauty Konjit (means beautiful one in African language).
Your curls are gorgeous! And I love the shorter length. You’re right about looking darn good! I agree with the comments above. Changes are sometimes whims, but sometimes – as you found – they are necessary. I hope you feel beautiful and strong with your shorter curls.
Thanks! I do! I LOVE my curls, and this shorter length has given me a much-needed boost of confidence.